Spreading the Love

Post-proposal, we headed back home to start our normal Friday - except now we were ENGAGED! Yay!

Remember my man-gagement present? Well, so much time had elapsed since we bought it and in the flurry of excitement in proposing, Mr. PS forgot that now he could wear his watch. Double yay!

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Notifying the parental units was the very next order of business. I'm originally from Ohio, and my parents still live there. Because of the distance, Mr. PS placed a call earlier in the week to ask them for their blessing. Such a gentleman! As Mr. PS tells the story, Poppa PS questioned "are you sure?" and then said "good luck with that." What a joker.

As I mentioned before, I've had a prior engagement (or two). My parents knew of Mr. PS's upcoming proposal and instead of the expected phone call I decided to send flowers to announce our engagement, hoping to bring in an element of surprise.

Momma PS received the flowers and did what any proud mother would do - she posted a photo on my Facebook wall for all the world to see.

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Oh crap! I saw it during a business lunch and could not call her fast enough. Delete! Delete! Delete! Mr. PS had not yet told his family, and we planned to host a dinner with them at our favorite local restaurant the next evening. That picture had to go, and STAT. I'm friends with Mr. PS's siblings and we didn't want to ruin the surprise. After a quick scramble, she figured out how to erase the evidence. Could Momma PS keep it a secret for another 24 hours?

Um, in a word - no. To her credit, she lasted almost 20 before she posted it on her own wall. Sneaky, sneaky mom. My extended family started peppering my FB with congratulations. Sadly, I deleted each one as it came in and dinner could not come soon enough.

Somehow Mr. PS and I managed to keep our engagement under wraps until dinner. Mr. PS's brother came down from the Bay area and his sister and family traveled 3 hours to be there. His other BIL speculated that someone was either pregnant or engaged. We maintained our poker faces.

I don't know, doc!

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Finally after we had all eaten, Mr. PS made the announcement and my ring found it's rightful place back on my finger. Whew! I'm a terrible liar and felt relieved to reveal our secret.

FMIL PS inspecting the goods

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Engagement watch and FMIL PS tearing up

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It's officially official!

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We gave our families a little engagement drama and those stories bring back a flood of excited anticipation as we spread the love...

How did you decide to share the news of your engagement with your families? Share your experience with me, did you receive any unique or unexpected responses?

A Question You Should Say Yes To

If you type "marriage proposal" into a google search, you'll get back more that 5.5 million hits. And if you are a gal that really wants to get hitched, waiting tests even the strongest will.

I am embarrassed to admit it, but I was that girl. Starting to feel more than a little impatient, did I just need to go ahead with it myself?

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Okay, maybe that's crazy talk. But, c'mon. I picked out the ring already. Then again, we agreed it would happen by the end of the year and it was only. . . August. Ugh.

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To this point, you must be thinking that our story seems fairly typical of an impending proposal.  Except our marriage plans required us to factor in one slight complication - a major surgery that Mr. PS was facing, pun completely intended. You may have noticed in photos I've shared of Mr. PS that his face droops a bit on one side and his right eye is larger than his left.

post-surgery

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It took six years and as many doctors to diagnose Mr. PS with a very rare condition where a small benign tumor was growing in his auditory canal. It caused incremental paralysis on the right side of his face and the best treatment required a craniotomy and potential severing of his facial nerve.

Blue ink indicates the location of Mr. PS's tumor

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Thankfully the tumor wasn't life threatening and Mr. PS could wait a month or a decade to go in for surgery. I preferred to delay until after our wedding to be "wife" instead of "girlfriend." These thoughts came over as residual from my military days where a non-spouse held no validity as a partner. I also felt I could provide continual care as his wife using the Family Medical Leave Act if necessary.

The more he thought about it, Mr. PS wanted that sucker out of his head sooner rather than later. I felt torn. What if? What if? What if?

I decided that his health and want to take care of it trumped planning a wedding, so I declared a moratorium on marriage talk until after the surgery. The whole ordeal stressed me out and I couldn't process both life events simultaneously.

I'm very lucky that Mr. PS disagreed with my plan. He had the ring for a month already and was trying to decide how best to propose. Let's cue some music to set the stage:

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Someday somebody's gonna ask you
A question that you should say yes to
Once in your life
Maybe tonight
I've got a question for you

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It was early on a Friday morning. Feeling melancholy, I woke Mr. PS to tell him that I loved him and wanted to marry him more than any other want in the world. I would wait as long as it took to get through the surgery and back to our normal, and I wanted him to be my husband and father to our children regardless.

Not knowing that he had the ring all this time, he suggested we go for a walk on the beach. "Now?!" I said, surprised. Mr. PS rarely went for an early morning walk with me. We got dressed in sweats and ventured the short walk to our local beach. I didn't register it at the time, but he chose to wear the same clothes as our first date beach walk.

It was foggy and quiet at 7am on that fall morning. No one was around except for a flock of seagulls. We walked silently hand in hand for about half a mile when Mr. PS gently held me in a hug and positioned me to face the ocean.

Then he got down on one knee. What?! Is this really happening? Right now?! After all this time waiting for this moment, oh crap. Am I ready for this?

With tears in his eyes, he told me how much he loved me. That he wasn't perfect and he had his flaws, and still he wanted to know if I would spend the rest of my life with him.

I started laughing and crying at the same time. My eyes flutter when I'm nervous and Mr. PS says that he thought I was going to pass out. He asked me if I was okay. I nodded and said yes! If I could write it in the sky I would - YES!

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We didn't have a camera with us that morning to capture a photo. But the proposal is burned into my memory and perhaps that's where it's best kept for me.

I'll still have to tell you how we shared the news with our families and celebrated together that night at a fancy schmancy restaurant. For now, here's a photo of me and my pretty ring near the spot where Mr. PS proposed.

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In what ways was your engagement similar or different? Did you have a long waiting period? When your beloved proposed, was it just the two of you? Or did it include family, friends, or a more public display of affection?

When All I Want Is You, Our Ring Story

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Do you recognize this guy? It's Bono, lead singer of Mr. PS's all-time favorite band, U2. Appropriate for the topic at hand, I think. Click Watch on YouTube to cue the mood music…

“You say you want diamonds and a ring of gold

You say you want your story to remain untold

But all the promises we made

From the cradle to the grave

When all I want is you.”

I’m sure you can relate to your own experience when I say I’ll never forget the day Mr. PS proposed. To give you the full story, we must rewind time back five months before he was on bended knee. 

We had been living together in blissful harmony for several months and knew before we moved in that we were headed toward marriage.

Snuggle bunnies!

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It was our dating 18 month-a-versary and Mr. PS asked me if I was happy. I looked at him with googly eyes and said yes, of course! Then he asked me if I was really happy. Again I said yes. Finally, Mr. PS nonchalantly mentioned that he knew what would make me happier, and stroking my left finger said “a ring.”

Girls, when a man tells you it's time to find your ring, you don’t ask questions – you just go! I immediately made a date with my bestie to start the search in Stanford.

I’ve been engaged before. Twice. I’ve been down this road once with a family heirloom and again with complete surprise. Needless to say, I picked neither the rings nor the men in the end.

This time I did what I’ve always wanted and headed straight for the place that starts with “T” and ends “& Co.” Oh yes, I’ve fallen completely for their marketing ploy – in my world this is where bridal dreams come true. Damn you, Audrey Hepburn!

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Now I already know what you're thinking. It's just a name, you can get the same quality and more ring at a more affordable price point without the name. I know, I know. But c'mon. I can't resist that little blue box with the satin ribbon.

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I tried on all the styles, and the classic Tiffany setting like the one pictured above chose me as 'the one.' Now if only I could figure out how to break the price news to Mr. PS. We didn't discuss budget before I rushed out the door. Seriously, we could by a car for the same money. Sheesh.

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No bueno. Unless maybe I waited five years to get engaged...did I mention I was 33 years old at the time? My clock's ticking, I so wanted to be engaged, and yet here I was talking about postponing to get this ring?!

My bestie would not allow such crazy talk and offered to go see her jeweler for something similar. I had other plans and went to the Tiffany's closer to home in Carmel. How could I explain my situation delicately? I told my sweet consultant/gemologist Sarah that I reeeeeallllly wanted to be a Tiffany girl but could not ask Mr. PS for the car version and wondered if she could get me in the club with a ring more along the lines of a scooter. Vespas are cute, right?

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Sarah's cautious optimism turned up success! My ideal ring and the only one in all of Tiffany's worldwide inventory was in THAT STORE! SCORE! Even Sarah was surprised to find it, so I knew serendipity was at work.

The next day Mr. PS humored me and met me during our lunch hour to see the ring. He agreed it was the one and even tried on some wedding bands. Oh, crap! We were really doing this! 

We talked about it and agreed that we would be engaged before the end of the year. I found my dream ring and now the real waiting would begin! 

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Believe me when I tell you that even though I showed Mr. PS exactly what I wanted, the ring and proposal would be a complete surprise!

How do you feel about choosing the ring for yourself pre-proposal? Did you two go that route or was it a decision your beloved made on their own?

Survey Says....

This morning I thought about how I was painfully thrust back into my wedding planning process, and that we might play a guessing game in the style of Family Feud to make the memory fun for all of us.

Name 5 things you expect to see at a wedding ceremony:

1. Bride, check.

2. Groom, check. (I told you he loves beagles, didn't I?)

3. Rings, check.

4. Flowers, ch -?

[Sound of record needle scratching across the album for effect]

Oh, yeah. Flowers. 

See, we have a florist for personal and reception flowers. And we wanted to investigate whether our parish's altar society could source and decorate the church in a more *ahem* cost-effective manner for the ceremony. So my future-mother-in-law set up the meeting on that fateful Saturday morning.

And who better to extend a warm and friendly welcome to us than this?

No joke. He was not happy to see us. I'll let your imaginations process how the morning went from there. Any guesses? What thoughts are running through your head at this point of my meeting? Post me some love in the comments :)

And with that, I can't even bear to know what awaits in the number 5 spot on the survey...

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